In the ideal stepparent adoption journey, one of the biological parents wants their spouse to adopt their child, and the other biological parent agrees. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way. If the other parent doesn’t agree, can you still adopt your stepchild?
Why would the other parent contest the adoption?
There are many possible reasons. Here are some:
- They love their child and don’t want to lose the connection. They may not know about open adoption.
- They are angry with the custodial parent and refuse out of spite.
- They nurse a hope that they will reunite their family.
- They know the old family structure is gone but aren’t ready to accept it.
- They owe back payments on child support and fear that the adoption will bring that to light.
As you can see from this list, a lot of possible reasons are emotional. Sometimes a counselor, mediator, or adoption professional can sort out these issues and help reach a conclusion.
Must you have agreement?
If the other parent doesn’t agree, there are two possibilities for continuing the adoption.
First, you can show that the other parent does not have a substantial relationship with the child. If the other parent has not made contact in a year, has not provided financial support, and has not taken on responsibility for the child, the parental rights can be terminated. Sometimes — especially when emotions run high — the other parent will claim that they made attempts to maintain the relationship and accuse the custodial parent of preventing contact. In a case like this, it helps to have notes and evidence to present to the court.
Second, you can show that the other parent would be an unfit parent. This could involve neglect or abuse of the child, commission of a felony, lengthy incarceration, substance abuse, or mental illness. This will be a court case and can be unpleasant, but in some cases it is necessary.
You need a lawyer
The truth is, any adoption is a legal issue and you need a lawyer for a step parent adoption. In a contested, adoption, however, it is absolutely essential to have an experienced adoption lawyer on your side. Contact Heimer Law.
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