A disrupted adoption is one in which there is a placement, but it falls through before the adoption is finalized. Once an adoption is final, then it’s final. The adoptive parents are the legal parents, and the child is their child just as a biological child is the child of the biological parents. Fears about biological parents coming back for their kids are based on misunderstanding of the law. But there can be a placement followed by an adoption disruption. This happens nationally in about 10-25% of adoptions.
Is 10-25% a big chance?
10-25% is a very large range. A 25% chance is one in four and a 10% chance is one in ten. It’s hard to get a more accurate number because many states, including Arkansas, don’t keep official track of these events.
But here are some 10-25% chances:
- If you pull a card at random from a deck of cards, you have a 25% chance of drawing a diamond.
- If you roll a die, you have just under a 17% chance of getting a six.
- If you flip a coin three times, there’s about a 12% chance you’ll get heads every time.
How much would you bet on those chances? Probably not very much. They aren’t strong chances. You probably wouldn’t even take your umbrella for a 10% chance of rain.
But it can happen
Adoption disruption does happen. One reason can be the revocation of consent. Perhaps the biological mom decides to parent after all. Maybe a child changes his mind about consenting to be adopted. It can happen that the adoptive parents cannot continue with the adoption because of a health crisis or a divorce.
Things happen.
Be prepared?
Some prospective adoptive parents try not to get too emotionally involved before finalization of the adoption. They tell themselves that they shouldn’t count their chickens before they hatch, or that they shouldn’t get their hopes up for fear of disappointment. This are both popular sayings, but there’s another: “A coward dies a thousand times, a brave man only once.” We’re not saying that keeping the possibility of disruption in mind is cowardly. The saying just means that fearing a bad outcome can give you a lot of stress and worry that might be unnecessary. Your adoption journey can take months. Should you avoid the excitement and joy of the process in case you are one of the 10% who might face a disrupted adoption?
Maybe not. It’s something to think about, at least.
Does a disruption mean starting over?
Not always. You’ve already done your home study and you’ve been through the matching process once so you know how it goes. You have a portfolio or profile ready. You’ve done a lot of the thinking and made a lot of the decisions. You don’t have to do those things over again.
Heimer Law specializes in adoption. We’ve supported so many families through successful adoptions that we’ve seen most of the things there are to see. Contact us for a free consultation.
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