In Arkansas, the law clearly states that a birth mom can ask for an adoptive family for her child who shares her religion. But what if you feel strongly that you do not want your child to be part of an interracial adoption? Can you ask for an adoptive family of your own race?
You choose the adoptive family
While it makes sense to talk with your adoption professional about the kind of family you want for your child, you don ‘t have to list all the things you have in mind. You can see adoptive parents’ profiles, meet them, and make up your mind. If their race is part of what you like about them, you can consider that just as much as you can consider their home, professions, or choice of clothing. It’s up to you.
At the same time, it is not legal for a court to refuse to approve an adoption on the grounds of race. An adoption agency cannot refuse a client on that basis. There is no law that says you can’t make your decision on whatever seems important to you, but there is no law guaranteeing a decision from the agency or that court on that basis.
What if you don’t have the option?
Only 0.2% of Arkansas are Muslims. An expectant mom who insists on a Muslim adoptive family might not find one in Arkansas. Just so, only 2.2% of Arkansans are Asian. If you are Asian and want to make sure your adoptive family is Asian — or, more likely, you want a family of the specific kind of Asian heritage you have — you may not have a family like that available.
This is not a question of laws or rules. It’s just the real world. You will have a choice among multiple families, but it is possible that none of them shares your heritage.
Think of alternatives
Think about what it would mean for your child to have parents from a different ethnic heritage. Think about what it would mean for your child to grow up in a mixed-race family. About 10.4% of American families are mixed race, according to the Census Bureau. Depending on the community they live in, it’s very likely that your child will have other mixed-race families in their classroom and neighborhood.
What worries you about this situation? Often the open adoption plan is a great opportunity to work out solutions to your concerns.
- What if my child loses connection with her heritage? In your open adoption plan, you can ask not only for contact with your child, but also for actions that will make you feel more confident about this. You could ask that your child study your family’s language, be introduced to holidays or other traditions, or be allowed to participate in special events with you and the adoptive family. The adoptive family’s openness to these ideas can give you an indication of how supportive they will be of your child’s cultural connections.
- What if my child experiences racism and the adoptive family doesn’t know how to deal with it? This is another topic worth discussing when you meet with the adoptive family and make that open adoption plan. Will you initiate those conversations, give relevant books to your child, or work together with the adoptive family to develop strategies for coping?
- Will there be any chance for my child to feel like part of her community? Growing up in a different community from yours could mean that your child has a very different experience from yours. Your open adoption plan could address this issue. Nonetheless, this is not an unusual situation. People who grow up in a community in New York may move to Texas and see their kids grow up with completely different experiences from their own, Parents who were brought up on a farm in a small town can take a job in the city and see their kids living a life that seems nothing like their childhood. Recognizing that this is a normal part of American life can make this feel like less of a loss. Still, continued contact allows you to provide connections with the community as long as you plan for it.
Whatever your particular concerns may be, you can talk about them with Heimer Law. We are an experienced adoption law firm, and your question is probably on we’ve dealt with before.
Call (479) 225.9725 to begin the conversation, or use our simple form.
Inquiry Form