Social media can help us keep in touch with friends and family, forge connections with new people who share our interests, and keep us entertained while we wait in line. But there can also be negative effects from social media. We see this when we hear from expectant moms who have made the brave and loving choice to give their babies a stable, loving adoptive home. Sometimes they’ve been bombarded with messages about what they should or should not do. That’s the background for a question we’ve heard: “Do I have to hold the baby?”
You’re in control
The most important thing to know is that Arkansas adoption law empowers the mother of the child. As part of the adoption process, you’ll choose a family for your child, make an adoption plan, and also make a birth plan. This includes medical questions your doctor will discuss with you. It also includes questions like who you want with you in the hospital and whether you want to hold the baby.
You may want to place the baby in the arms of the adoptive parents. You might prefer to leave that to the medical professionals who help you with labor and delivery. You do not have to feel pressured into either choice. You can hold the baby if you want to, but you do not have to do anything you don’t want to do.
Where’s the pressure?
When we’ve heard this question, it has come from claims in social media that a birth mom has to provide skin-to-skin contact for the baby. In fact, the adoptive parents can provide the initial skin-to-skin contact, just as they will continue to do throughout infancy. Studies show that skin-to-skin contact between adoptive parents and their new baby is calming for the child and deepens the bond between parents and child.
This type of care can help babies regulate their body temperature, heart rate, and breathing. But just as you will not be the child’s legal parent after the adoption, you do not have to be the one to provide this care for the baby.
At Heimer Law, we believe in protecting the rights of expectant moms and birth moms. We believe in supporting all members of the adoption journey and making certain that the best interests of the child are top of mind. Call us for a free, no-pressure conversation if you are considering adoption.
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