A recent survey found that the average American posts or interacts on social media 10 times a day. Some people start with their morning coffee, post their outfit before they go to work, snap a shot of their lunch, get a group of pix at the game, and check in before they go to bed with an inspiring quote. So why shouldn’t you post on social media about your adoption journey? Actually, you should post about that journey if you want to…but you may want limits.
Pictures of kids?
Prospective adoptive parents may take and cherish photos of the child they’re trying to adopt, but posting them may not be a good idea. A recent federal court ruling allows anyone to save publicly posted photos of anyone, including children, and even to use AI tools to alter those photos. As long as the pictures are kept privately at home and don’t show a real person, this kind of use of photos is legal.
The court case involved AI-generated pornography, which is an extreme case, but the decision is causing many parents to think twice about posting pictures of their kids. In the case of adoption, when circumstances can change, it’s worth thinking several times. Imagine a case in which a foster parent posts photos of a child you eventually adopt. Or a biological parent posts shots of your adopted child during visits. Or you post snaps of a child you hope to adopt and the adoption is not finalized. None of these scenarios is illegal, but any of them — and plenty more variations — might bring up feelings.
Think about your choices, discuss them with your partner, and set yourself some limits. Include agreements about social media in your open adoption plan. It’s better to plan ahead than to regret your spur-of-the-moment choices later.
What if things change?
We heard about a family that hadn’t posted about their experiences with trying to grow their family, but decided to announce their joy on social media when they expected to bring their child home. The situation changed and they did not bring that child home.
With so many friends and acquaintances celebrating with them, they didn’t feel they could just stop talking about it. In fact, people they knew in their community came up and congratulated them in person. It seemed as though they had no choice but to share their disappointment on social media, too.
Social media is supposed to be social. There’s nothing wrong with sharing your news when you want to share. But prospective adoptive parents know that nothing is final until the adoption is final. Consider setting limits on how much you share ahead of time.
Are you ready for responses?
When we share on social media, we may feel like we’re talking to pour friends and family. Unless you make your posts private, though, others can see them. How will you feel if a stranger criticizes your choices? What if a chatty acquaintance asks about details you don’t want to share? How about unsolicited advice?
The other side of the coin can be the people you help. When others see your adoption journey, they may feel encouraged to grow their own family through adoption. They may have questions about how you dealt with challenges or what you plan to do about potential pitfalls. Are you ready to have conversations like that with strangers?
Again, social media is supposed to be social. The interactions we have on social media platforms can be a rewarding part of the social connections that are good for our health and happiness.
Unfortunately, the anonymity and distance of social media can make people forget normal rules of courteous behavior. You can set limits on who can comment on your posts. Take advantage of these tools to make your experience a pleasant one.
Bottom line: enjoy sharing what you want to share. Make sure you plan ahead and set the limits you need.
Questions about adoption? Contact Heimer Law for a free, confidential, no obligation consultation.
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