The adoption journey has high points and low points. Hearing that you’ve been matched with an expectant mom or a child is bound to be a high point — you move from a desire to adopt to learning about the child you will bring home. One of the next steps is making financial plans with the mother, and that can feel like a stressful conversation for many would-be adoptive parents. It can feel like an uncomfortable topic and you may not be sure what you’re allowed or expected to offer. It’s an important part of your adoption plan, though. Our advice: be clear on adoption expenses from the beginning.
What can you do for the mom?
The birth mother of the child you adopt is giving a wonderful gift to you and to the child. You want to show that you value her and to help her feel confident that you will provide for her child. At the same time, people who decide to relinquish their child may have a lot of worries. They may have concerns about the legal costs of adoption or the cost of medical care. No matter how clearly all the adults are focused on the best interests of the child, money can still be on everyone’s mind.
Making it clear what adoption expenses you plan to cover is the best way to ease the discomfort on both sides. In Arkansas, you are allowed to cover essential expenses for an expectant mother:
- legal costs
- medical care
- living expenses
- transportation
All expenses must be necessary and related to pregnancy and birth, and they must be gifts with no strings attached. But there is quite a bit of flexibility. Establish up front what expenses you expect to cover, and eliminate worry and uncertainty.
Work with your attorney
This kind of discussion should not be directly between the birth parents and the hopeful adoptive parents. Your adoption lawyer is the right person to assist you with this. Heimer Law is a family law firm specializing in adoptions. We have extensive experience and we always work for the best possible outcome for all the people involved in the adoption journey. Contact us for a free consultation.
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