Many would-be adoptive parents know they want to grow their family through the beautiful process of adoption, and they are open to any child, male or female, of any background. but one of the advantages of adoption is that you can make some choices that aren’t possible with biological children, including choosing the gender of your adopted child. You can decide that you particularly want a girl or a boy, and end up with the boy or girl you prefer.
Adopting a newborn
When you adopt a newborn by being chosen by an expectant mother as the adoptive parents, you may not know ahead of time whether the baby will be a boy or a girl. There can even be surprises in cases where the birth mother had ultrasound and received a prediction; ultrasound can give an inaccurate result as much as 5% of the time.
Having your heart set on a particular gender may not work out if you are adopting a newborn. At minimum, it would mean eliminating as matches all expectant moms who do not know the likely sex of their unborn child, as well as those who are expecting a child not of your preferred gender. This can make the wait time for your match longer.
Adopting an older child
When you choose to adopt a child who is already born, you can feel confident about choosing the gender. However, specifying your preference for a boy or a girl can make the process take longer. Especially if you have other factors you want to prioritize, deciding that you only want a girl or a boy reduces the pool you can choose from. This is particularly true for families wanting to adopt a girl. Because more families want a girl, there are likely to be more boys available for adoption. It’s simple supply and demand. Insistence on a girl can mean a longer wait time to find a good match.
Some adoption agencies discourage families from deciding ahead of time that they want a boy or a girl. If this is very important to you, changing agencies is the solution. Heimer Law works with a variety of adoption agencies, and we know that you can have an excellent experience with more than one organization. Deciding to change agencies can feel like a big step, so it’s worth discussing the question of choosing the gender of your adopted child early in your work with the agency. if that kind of choice is not allowed by their policies, you need to know before you make major investments — emotionally or financially.
Laws on children and gender
The legal process of adoption is no different for boys or girls. However, Arkansas does have some new laws on children and gender that you may want to be aware of. Gender transition procedures for minors are illegal under AR Code 20-9-1502 (the SAFE Act), a law which was struck down in 2023 and is currently under appeal.
A new law is currently under consideration by the legislature. This law would make it possible for a young person to bring a civil suit against an adult who provided gender transition services, including “social transition,” which the law defines as “any act by which a minor adopts or espouses a gender identity that differs from the minor’s biological sex as determined by the sex organs, chromosomes, and endogenous profiles of the minor, including without limitation changes in clothing, pronouns, hairstyle, and name.”
If this legislation becomes law, it would be possible for a teenager to sue their adoptive parents for giving them a name associated with the opposite sex or for allowing them to have clothing or a hairstyle associated with the opposite sex. The bill was recently withdrawn for changes and will be reintroduced at a later time, so it may never become law…but it might. Equally, the SAFE law is not in force at present…but might be in the future.
This is an area of uncertainty right now with frequent changes in laws and in customs. Gender issues of various kinds can come up in the course of an adoption journey, and questions might arise. Heimer Law is always happy to answer your questions and to listen to your concerns.
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