There’s a difference between an unplanned pregnancy and an unwanted pregnancy, but the truth is, sometimes news of an unplanned pregnancy is not welcome. An expectant mom may be getting ready to accept a scholarship at the college she’s always wanted to attend, she could be working her way out of a difficult stage in her life, or may just not feel like being a mom is part of the life she wants. There is no shame in choosing a child-free life. When a surprise pregnancy occurs for someone in this position, it can be devastating.
Adoption can mean that an unwanted pregnancy is a brief detour in a woman’s life, not a complete derailment of her plans.
Moving on
Sometimes, in a case like this, an expectant mom may want to complete labor and delivery, relinquish the child for adoption, and move on as quickly as possible. That can make a closed adoption feel like the best plan. In a closed adoption, the personal information of the birth mother is not shared with the adoptive parents or the child. The adoptive parents do not meet the birth mother and she may not choose to have any information about them.
The birth of the child can be the end of the birth mother’s contact with the child. She can move on with her life, considering this chapter of her life closed.
Open adoption
Closed adoptions used to be the norm, but now nearly all adoptions are open adoptions. There are some significant advantages to open adoptions:
- The child has some information about his or her family history and identity.
- The adoptive parents know the child’s background and heritage.
- Medical information about the birth family is available if needed.
- The family can be enriched by the larger extended family open adoptions allow.
In an open adoption, the birth mother chooses her child’s adoptive parents and plans for some level of continued contact. That contact could be gathering together for holidays, or it could be receiving occasional photographs. It’s entirely up to the people involved.
A continuum
Clearly, there can be a continuum, from welcoming the birth mother into the adoptive family as a friend to exchanging letters, to providing information on request. A birth mother who chooses not to share information with the adoptive family from the beginning can request that she be able to reach out at some time in the future if she cares to do so. She can specify that the child can receive information about her if he or she wants to after a certain age. There are many possibilities.
For some women, an unwanted pregnancy is an event to get over with and move on from. With an Arkansas adoption, that is a legal possibility. But it is possible to leave that door open if she wants to.
Heimer Law specializes in adoption. We have worked with and supported people in many different positions and situations, and we are happy to discuss your feelings at this challenging time and to help you figure out the best path for you.
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