Women who are considering adoption for their babies often begin the process by making an adoption plan. They consider whether they want an open adoption or a closed adoption. Within those two main categories, they think about what level of contact or information they want going forward and what amount of information they care to share with the adoptive family or their biological child. They work on plans for their pregnancy and birth as well as their intentions for their lives after the birth and adoption. It’s no surprise that adoption plans end up looking unique: there are so many different factors and decisions to take into account that the details of any one adoption plan are bound to be different from other adoption plans. Still, successful adoption plans have one main feature in common.
Things successful adoption plans don’t all have in common
While most adoptions nowadays are open adoptions, closed adoptions can also be successful.
A closed adoption is one in which the biological parents are kept anonymous and do not have any future contact with the child or the adoptive family. This used to be the norm. In fact, in the 20th century it was common for adoptive families to pretend that their adopted children were their biological children. Would-bne adoptive parents would try to choose a child who might look like them, and might never tell their adopted child that he or she was adopted. That’s uncommon nowadays, but a birth mother can still choose to take this route, and it can be a successful adoption plan.
Open adoptions range from very little contact to strong family ties between the adoptive and biological families. One plan might involve the adoptive parents sending a letter and photograph to the birth mom on the child’s birthday, while another might welcome the birth mother into the adoptive parents’ extended family. Both approached — and everything in between — can be successful.
Along the adoption journey, there are likely to be many different choices in terms of supporting the birth mom, whether adoptive parents come into the labor room for the delivery, and whether the birth mom chooses to spend some time with the baby after birth or not. None of these choices guarantees a successful adoption experience — or makes one less likely.
The essential element
Clarity is the one thing that all successful adoption plans have in common. A plan should answer all these questions:
- Who will be present during the delivery? This determines whether the adoptive family will be in the delivery room or waiting elsewhere.
- What level of contact does the birth mother want with the baby in the hospital? This could range from holding the baby to not seeing the baby at all.
- How will the birth parents and adoptive parents interact at the hospital? This addresses communication and visitation.
- How will the baby be released from the hospital? This clarifies the handoff process to the adoptive parents.
- What type of communication is desired after the adoption? Options range from letters and photos to phone calls, emails, or video chats.
- How often will this communication occur? For example, is it monthly, quarterly, or on special occasions?
- Will there be in-person visits? If so, how often? Some plans include scheduled visits, while others do not.
- How will the communication and contact be facilitated and managed? This could be through an adoption agency or directly between the families.
- How will the adoptive family talk to the child about their adoption? This includes how and when they will share the story of their birth family and adoption journey.
Answering these questions thoroughly and honestly ensures that the adoption is handled with care, compassion, and a clear path forward for everyone involved.
Heimer Law, specializing in Arkansas adoptions, will be with you throughout your adoption journey. Contact us today to begin the conversation.
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