You’re expecting a baby, but this is not the right time in your life to become a parent. You’ve made the brave and loving decision to help another family grow by allowing someone else to adopt the child. Arkansas adoptions empower birth mothers with a lot of control over their adoption experience. When you meet the adoptive parents — or the prospective adoptive parents — you might feel a bit nervous. Use these tips to plan for that important meeting.
Make your adoption plan
Begin by working with your adoption professionals to create your adoption plan. You can remain anonymous and choose not to meet the prospective parents if that is your choice. A closed adoption lets you close this chapter of your life and move on. But open adoptions allow you to meet the new parents and to make a plan to stay in contact with the child or to receive updates about the child’s life.
There are many different ways to plan an open adoption. Heimer Law has extensive experience and can tell you some of the plans we’ve seen succeed in the past. Then we can help you work with the prospective parents to develop an agreement for an open adoption.
Some of the thing you should think about:
- Do you want the prospective parents to meet you at the hospital, to be present at the birth, or to visit you afterwards?
- Is there anyone else you want to have present with you?
- What kind of post-adoption contact do you want with the adoptive family?
- The adoptive parents are allowed to help with expenses. What are your needs in this area?
Thinking about these and similar questions can help you make the best decisions for you and the baby.
Choose an adoptive family
Your adoption professionals will help you learn about the prospective parents who are waiting to grow their families with an adopted child. Often, there may be several families waiting for this opportunity. Your adoption professionals can share information about the people who are waiting to adopt.
In Arkansas, you have the right to say that you would prefer a married couple, or a member of your own faith, or a large or small family. The families that are waiting to adopt might not perfectly match your dream family, but there are usually multiple options.
When you find a prospective parent or family that you feel good about, you can communicate with them by phone or letter, or you can choose to meet the adoptive parents in person.
Be yourself
The prospective parents may feel that they are auditioning to be your baby’s new parents. They will also be excited and grateful. If you can relax and talk frankly about yourself, they will feel more at ease.
You shouldn’t expect to be asked any tough questions, and you can choose how much information you want to share.
Some open adoptions lead to a new family group that includes you as well as the child and the adoptive family. Some have more limited contact. By the time you meet, you will already have made an adoption plan and filled out some paperwork, but your relationship with the prospective adoptive parents will evolve naturally. The first meeting may be the only meeting you have, or it might be the beginning of a longer process. Either way, you will know that you have made a decision that will bless these people that you meet.
Are you ready to discuss adoption?
If you’re considering adoption, Heimer Law can offer you a free, confidential, nonjudgmental consultation, whether you decide to choose adoption or not. Call us or fill out our simple form.
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